The 2009 Wrap Up

I couldn't think of a creative way to wrap up post about this year so I figured why not be like everyone else and just do a survey. Plus, it's a good way to learn more about us since this blog is still pretty new. Myself and Chris will both answer. Here we go!

1. What did you do in 2009 that you'd never done before?

Ashley- I hired a lawyer.

Chris- I got a job I actually enjoy, went through one round of chemo, and I shaved my head.

2. Did you keep your new year's resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

Ashley- I slept through last new years. No resolutions. I probably won't make any this year.

Chris- Well, I played Monopoly all night yes the board game, last new years eve, so I didn't make any, I've never made a resolution and I don't plan on starting this year.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?

Ashley- No. A lot of people in 2010 that I know will though.

Chris- Uh, yeah...

4. Did anyone close to you die?

Ashley- No, thank goodness.

Chris- I don't think anyone close to me died.

5. What countries did you visit?
Ashley- I didn't even leave the state this year..and it was great!

Chris-None.

6. What would you like to have in 2010 that you didn't have in 2009?

Ashley- Low blood pressure, a JOB, A Canon EOS Rebel, a kitchen with a window.

Chris- I just want a million bucks, and my health. Ok, and NEW LAPTOP.

7. What dates from 2009 will be etched upon your memory, and why?

Ashley- March 14, my mom's been gone two years. April 16, I quit my job. November 21, Chris was diagnosed with cancer. December 14, Chris started his first round of chemo.

Chris- November 21st.

8. What was your biggest achievement of this year?

Ashley-Well since I haven't had a job to occupy my time I feel like I've been putting more into my relationship with Chris.

Chris- This year was a complete failure.

9. What was your biggest failure?

Ashley- Well not being able to get the job that I want, it's not really in my hands though I guess.

Chris- Do I still have to answer these? I guess not getting the job I interviewed for at Apple.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?

Ashley- Stupid high blood pressure!

Chris- (Laughs) Gee, Yeah!

11. What was the best thing you bought?

Ashley- Haha bought? This year? I've been too broke this year. Nothing.

Chris- My SUPER NINTENDO I found on Craigslist! Yeah!

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?

Ashley- Meh..I'll answer for both of us. We both could use improvement in certain areas.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?

Ashley- Previously, my previous employers. Currently, my cat because she keeps trying to make a hole under our couch.

Chris- Insurance companies.

14. Where did most your money go?

Ashley- Bills!

Chris- Well since Ashley doesn't have a job (laugh) I guess I'd have to say bills...nothing fun.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?

Ashley- Well in August I was excited because I was supposed to be starting back to school in Januaury. Not happening now.

Chris- My interview with Apple..even though I didn't get the job.

16. What song will always remind you of 2009?

Ashley- Ew. Anything by The Fray. It's all over played.

Chris- Um, any of the Lady Gaga songs!

17. Compared to this time last year, are you: a) happier or sadder? b) thinner or fatter? c) richer or poorer?

Ashley- a) Happier. b) Chubbier(ha) c) More in debt.

Chris- a) Neutral b) Fatter c) Poorer!

18. What do you wish you'd done more of?

Ashley- Spent time with family. Cooked more.

Chris- I wish I would have had more fun in general.

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?

Ashley- I wish I'd eaten less fast food.

Chris- I wish I could stop saying "Ya know,..." before/after every sentence. Wow, random.

20. How did you spend Christmas?

Ashley- I went to my aunt's house. Had a meal, opened gifts, and played chicken foot!

Chris- Working! Then I was with Ashley doing what she did.

21. Did you fall in love with 2009?

Ashley- Heck no.

Chris-Definitely not.

22. What was your favorite TV program?

Ashley- Big Brother, Grey's Anatomy, and I finally got into Private Practice.

Chris- I didn't get to watch any of my favorite shows beacuse I had to work, but if I had to pick anyway I'd choose: Fringe, Heroes and Big Brother.

23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?

Ashley- "Hate" is such a strong word...but since you asked...Kidding.

Chris- Not anyone I can say. This is a public blog.

24. What was the best book you read?

Ashley- All of the Jodi Picoult's I've read and The Time Traveller's Wife.

Chris- House of Suns

25. What was your greatest musical discovery?

Ashley- Kings of Leon!!!!!!!!!

Chris- Interesting question...Um, I steal Ashley's answer.

26. What did you want and get?

Ashley- I can't think of anything. Oh wait, I got my blackberry storm this year. And hate it.

Chris- A knit cap. HAHAHA!

27. What did you want and not get?

Ashley- A camera. A JOB.

Chris- The Apple job and a new laptop and I never got my crap car fixed.

28. What was your favorite film of 2009?

Ashley-The Time Traveller's Wife was good. I can't think of any that I really LOVED though.

Chris- Oh hell, I gotta think. Still thinking...

29. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?

Ashley- I went to a movie with my cousin ( My Sister's Keeper). I turned 23.

Chris- Damnit, I'm still on the last question. This year I worked SURPRISE! I turned 23.

30. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

Ashley- Winning a million dollars.

Chris- Normality

31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept of 2009?

Ashley- Comfort.

Chris- What she said.

32. What kept you sane?

Ashley- Chris

Chris- Ashley

33. What political issue stirred you the most?

Ashley- I don't care.

Chris- Healthcare Reform.

34. Who did you miss?

Ashley- My mom

Chris- My mom . Family. Best Friend.

35. Who was the best new person you met?

Ashley- I can't think of anyone.

Chris- No one.

36. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2009.

Ashley- Listen to your body!

Chris- Go to the doctor. When in doubt, get it checked out!

A Day In The Life

We had a busy day today. First, we went to see Dr. M. (urologist) mostly just to check on his side of this things. He did the surgery. Everything went good. He told Chris how awesome he was for being so positive, with all he's been going through. It was nice. Next, Chris wanted breakfast and who was I to say no?

Yes, Rudy's breakfast tacos make him that happy. You should see the other picture I took. Maybe if you ask nicely some other time :) After breakfast we ran a couple more errands and then the big one.

Yup, he got his head shaved. His hair started falling out really bad yesterday. It was time. He loves it. See, he knew he loved his bald head before he even looked in the mirror.

See, I told you. He can't stop looking at his head now. Or touching it. Or asking me to touch it. Or talking about it. Seriously, he likes it. A Lot.

I like it. It's kind of weird that when I first met Chris, four years ago, he had hair past his shoulders. It was really long. When he moved to TX (almost 3  years ago) I begged him to cut it off. He did. Now he has no hair at all! If I'm not careful he might never let it grow back. I miss his hair already but it'll just take some getting used too.

It is super cold outside today. Maybe that's why the lady looked at us like we were crazy when he walked in and told her to shave it all off. Look at that though! So cute! Did I mention it's freezing outside?

That's ice. It's cold. After he got his head shaved, he went and bought me some new windshield wipers and put them on. What a sweetie. Next, it was time for CHEMOTHERAPY TUESDAY. 

Yeah...he was busy today. Yes, that is a pink iPod and yes he's comfortably watching TV. I on the other hand was bored out of my mind so I finally got up the guts to bust out my camera in the chemo room. I was hiding behind a wall. Don't want to piss any old people off, ya know?

What does the rest of the day hold? Well, we are going to babysit my little cousins tonight so their parents can go out and have some fun. And that'll wrap up our day. Whew! I need a nap. Speaking of nap, where's Chris? Oh yeah, he's passed out on the bed.

Leave some love!

The Hair Fairy

Chris is losing his hair. I told him when the chemo started that I bet he'd start losing it right around Christmas. I'm so smart.

But, this isn't about me.

He texted me from work yesterday and told me his facial hair had started coming out. Sad day. So he showed me last night and he was totally right. The hair on his head was still hanging in there though.

But then, the hair fairy came last night. While getting ready for work this morning he yelled, "Well, here we go!" I figured he was talking about the hair on his head falling out. Yep. It's not "falling" out yet but if you grab some it comes out really easy.

He's going to shave it all off on Tuesday. Hopefully it doesn't start falling out really bad while he's at work today and tomorrow. 

At first he didn't want me to blog about/take a picture of it, which I can understand...but then he came in with this...

...And he told me I should blog about it. I don't know what made him change his mind.

Man Of Many Talents

Besides being a HUGE computer nerd guru I betcha didn't know Chris had other talents. Like for instance, he makes a mad good sausage ball. That's right he got in the kitchen a few days ago and whipped up some sausage balls to take to work because they were having a pot luck. No pots were involved in this recipe though. Here, it's easy...

Sausage Balls

What you need:

1lb sausage (any flavor you like)
12 oz shredded cheese (he used cheddar)
2 cups Pioneer Baking Mix
1/4 cup of milk (decided at the last minute he needed moisture)

To begin, Chris sat the sausage and cheese out so that the chill would go away. Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

Dump everything into the bowl.

Dig in, literally, mix everything until combined.

Mix until it looks like this-

Next, roll sausage mixture into balls. As big or little as you want. Chris got about 63 out of this recipe.

Have a snack while your boyfriend gets dirty in the kitchen. Oh, wait I mean make your boyfriend a snack.

Throw the sausage balls onto a baking sheet. He just did two batches instead of crowding the oven.

Now put them in the oven for about 20 minutes. They only brown a little so to be sure they are done just sneak one and tear it open to make sure the sausage is cooked thoroughly.  You should put them in the refigerator if you're not eating them right away. The very last thing you do is take a picture at a totally weird, random, crazy angle to show off your work. This picture in no way lets you know how they are supposed to look when they are done. Way to go Chris.

That's it. I didn't eat any of them. I stabbed them with some toothpicks, threw them in a container and he took them to work. He said everyone liked them. Good job Chris. Whatcha making me for dinner tonight?

Happy Holidays

Hope everyone had a good holiday. Ours was good minus the fact that Chris had to work 9-5, gotta love tech support, Christmas day. Our family was good to us. Really good. We honestly weren't expecting any gifts considering how much they've been helping us out financially right now. Needless to say we had huge meals all this last week, (yay! I didn't have to cook!) and we had gifts to open. We are so thankful. We agreed the only thing that could have made it better is if my brothers had been here and if he could have seen his family in TN. Oh, and if we could have had a WHITE CHRISTMAS like those of you a couple hundred miles north of us. Suckers.  Here are just a few pictures from the last few days...

Look at that bow tie (and fake smile) on my little cousin.

Chris opening presents.

This is what I get when I ask Chris to take a picture of me opening my presents. At least he didn't cut the top of my head off :)

My cute cousins.

Ok, don't look at me in this picture. Look at Chris. It's all him.

And this? This is the "snow" we got at our house.

Now begins the coutdown to 2010...

While We're Cooking...

....This little snowman is hanging out. This is one of the many snowmen my aunt has at her house. This one's my favorite. Happy Christmas Eve!

Frog In A Hole

Chris came home talking about "the best breakfast I've ever eaten!" a couple of years ago. Someone had brought these Frog-In-A-Hole* things to work. It sounded disgusting so I just waved him off. Well I'll be darned if these things didn't show back up in his life. By way of this totallyawesomeyummycookbook Arena sent me. Thanks, Arena! Thanks, PW for giving me the step by step...

You see, I don't like eggs. Like...at all. I'll eat them scrambled every once in a while. That's it. So, when Chris was looking through the aforementioned cookbook he nearly fell out of his chair. Seriously. This is what I heard..."FROG IN A HOLE! Oh my gosh this is that thing I was telling you about that I had but couldn't explain how to make it and oh my gosh I want this it was so good and can you make this for me PUHLEASEE?"

Sure, honey.

Chris went back to work on Saturday after his first week of chemotherapy. He's supposed to be eating all kinds of protein so I loaded him up before he went to work. I made these Frog-In-A-Hole things. Before seven in the morning. I thought I was going to be sick I hate eggs remember.  Here's the recipe.

FROG-IN-A-HOLE

What you need:

Sliced bread
Eggs
Butter
Salt
Pepper
Any topping you want. Chris uses syrup.

First, get a piece of bread and cut a hole in the middle using a biscuit cutter. Or you can be like me and use the top of a can of chicken noodle soup (hey I cleaned it off!) because we don't own a biscuit cutter...yet. Here's a picture.

Next, heat a couple of tablespoons of butter in a skillet over medium low heat.

Swirl it all around to coat the bottom of the pan and then add your piece of bread.

You probably didn't need a picture of that but I thought, what the heck. After about a minute add an egg into the hole! Chris' favorite part. It'll look like this.

Ew. I  mean YUM! Throw some salt and pepper on top at this point. After about another minute you should be able to see the egg setting. If your pan is looking dry toss another bit of butter into the pan. This is what mine looked like right before I flipped it.

                                 

See how the egg is white? Next, grab your spatula and flip it! It should look all golden and delicious like this...

Wait a couple of minutes after you flip for the other side to brown up and for your egg to cook as done as you'd like. Chris like's his runny. Too bad. No under cooked egg for him right now! And now for the finished product..

You can eat it plain or whatever. Like I said, Chris puts Maple syrup on his. I wouldn't touch this thing with a ten foot pole myself.  Serve with fruit on the side to a very happy boyfriend.

Enjoy!

*Don't ask me where the name comes from. I have no idea. I've heard that they go by other random names such as, Egg In A Basket,  Bird's Nest Egg, and Private Eyes. Chris has always called it Frog In A Hole.

Bad Day Gone Good

It's Wednesday. Two more days of chemotherapy (this week). It is kicking Chris' butt. We get to the doctors office at about 8:30 every morning. He's usually hooked up to hydration for a bit before he starts his chemo drugs. The Cisplatin is no good for his kidneys so he has to drink tons of water and pee all day. He's not happy about that. Before he's given the chemo drugs he's given an anti nausea shot, Kytril, it seems to be working. He's also given a steroid shot to help keep the fatigue away, dexamethasone, which is kind of  working. He's then given the Etoposide which takes about an hour to drip. When that is done he gets his Cisplatin which takes about thirty minutes to drip. If it is a Tuesday then after Cisplatin he gets Bleomycin which takes about ten minutes to drip.

You get all that?

Also, since we are self-pay, no insurance, all of this is going through an IV. An IV that he either has to get every single day or he can decide to leave it in for the week (and hope it works when we get there the next morning) He's had one in the last two days, Monday he just wanted the damn thing out when he was finished. I don't blame him. If we had insurance then he could have a PICC line or a Port-a-Cath. But alas, he must be poked and prodded every time he needs to have a lab and/or medication. It's driving him nuts. Here he is at home with it all wrapped up-

See that lump toward the top? Yeah, that's the IV. It irritates him but it's better to come home with the IV than to have to get a new one every single day. I'm still trying to convince him of that fact myself. Poor Chris.

Wanna know what we've been doing all day? Well let me show you, besides playing Phase 10 we've been laying on the couch-

He pretty much has no appetite. But when he's hungry, he's starving! The nurse yesterday said I'd have to go to the grocery store by Friday because the steroid shot he's getting every day will make him hungry eat like a pig.

Had to go to the store today.

He needs lots and lots and lots of protein to keep up his energy so his body can make new healthy! cells. Here was breakfast this morning-

He looks very happy to be having his picture taken at 7 in the morning huh? In case you can't see, that's eggs, sausage, milk, water and when he was finished he had toast. Two hours later he had yogurt and chips (not together because that would be gross) but yeah. He hasn't had much of an appetite or at least much doesn't sound good to him so when he says he wants something I run in and make it before the craving passes.

Hang on I'm getting to the good, best part of the day next...

So I have this friend, her name is Arena. We've kept in touch since high school and she's pretty much the only old friend I see kinda sorta regularly? Anyway here we are-

It's old as you can see but hey, my double chin is less prominent here. So that's Arena. She sent me something in the mail today. Totally brightened up our day. Yes I said our, Chris was totally into it as well. Here's what she sent-

It's Pioneer Woman's Cookbook. You see, I've kind of been blog stalking her for a little while, little did I know so has Arena. Well she just did a book tour and I wasn't able to make it into Austin when she was at Book People, so Arena caught her when she was in Dallas and she sent me this! Aw. The pictures! Wow she did all of the photography for the book and it's so awesome. I want an awesome camera, and her mad photo taking skills. Oh and of course there are recipies, duh. Like, yummy we are going to gain 59 lbs just reading this, recipes. Oh, and did I mention this?

That's me!! Totally awesome. Made my day! And Chris was drooling over the thing so look who might actually eat a couple of meals tomorrow instead of just the one. Thanks Arena!

Sorry, I can't stop looking at it. Alright, I better wrap this up because I'm pretty sure Chris is passed out on the floor. I need to get him into bed! Thanks everyone for reading this crazy long post about our crazy long day :)

Chemotherapy Day 1

Don't expect an update every day Chris has chemotherapy. Frankly, it was boring and not as big of a deal as we thought it would be. Initally, we had been told that he'd be there from 8:30-5 today. When we got there we were informed we would only be there from 8:30-2. Well, At 11:15 we were done! Chris had an appointment with the doctor before the chemotherapy even began...then he had to have some labs drawn. He didn't even start the chemotherapy until about 9:15. Yeah, that was our day.

Today he recieved Etoposide, and Cisplatin as his chemotherapy drugs. He also got a steroid to help with the fatigue and an anti nausea medication. I didn't get the names of these last two drugs but I'll find out tomorrow.

How is he feeling? Well he had a little bit of light headedness (I don't know if that's even a word) this afternoon but I think that has subsided. Mostly, I think he was freaking out about the thought of poison running through his veins. He has too vivid of an imagination for this kind of stuff! Now he is relaxing watching some TV (The Big Bang Theory) and he keeps saying his tummy feels weird. Nothing bad though.

In the morning we go back for day 2. He will get the same four drugs he got today plus his third chemotherapy drug Bleomycin, which he only gets once every chemotherapy week.

I felt kind of weird pulling my camera out today during his chemotherapy- there are pretty much just 15 chairs lined up with people getting chemotherapy/nurses running around-so I just snapped a pic on the way home.

The purple tape is from having blood drawn. The blue tape is where his IV was. Just a note- his shirt says "Gold Medal Champion." It always bothers me when I can't tell what writing in a picture says.

  This is what Chris did for the rest of the day. Well he was on the computer and he played a little Super Mario. It took his mind off things for a little bit.

That about sums up our day. Told you it was boring. Not that boring is bad by any means. Also, just want to say thanks for all of my family who helped ME out this weekend. I don't know if you guys read or not but thanks for saving my butt. And the chowder was delish!

We Have Swimmers!

On Wednesday we headed to the sperm bank and Chris made his contribution. The guy that runs the place was totally creepy. He had sperm all over his office. Ya know, like a wooden sperm plaque stand thingie- that's what Chris called it- I didn't see that one. The one that caught my eye was on the collar of his shirt! It was a little spermy pin all gold with BLING in the middle of it. Uh, tacky? He went to college at the University of Tennessee. That should explain it. Kidding. sort of. He took his job way to seriously.

Anyway, so the creepy guy told us to call the next day because they would have frozen a sample of the contribution and then we'd know details. Chris called and it turns out he had a low sperm count to begin with...probably due to the cancer itself. They said the sperm itself looked healthy, which is good. Six vials of sperm were frozen on Wednesday. Hopefully we won't need any of them because Chris will be okay. This step of the process was just for back-up. If not then we have three ways in which we can use it...Artificial insemination, IVF, and ICSI. I don't want to talk about any of that yet.

The last couple of days have been boring. Chris starts chemotherapy tomorrow. I keep asking him how he feels and he's so indifferent. He's just like, "I don't know, I guess I'm a little nervous but I'm just going to sit there. I don't really have a choice in the matter." I think he'll have more to say about the whole situation when he starts losing his hair. He wants a TN Titans beanie for this winter but I told him no. He wasn't happy. Solid colors only please.

Christmas Came Early In A Luby's Parking Lot

Get your minds out of the gutter! Chris got his present early this year. He's been stalking Craigslist for about 8 months now looking for exactly the right thing...at the right price. Here we are about to leave to get it.

He was so excited. After waiting in the Luby's parking lot* for like, I don't know, an hour...it finally arrived.

It all fit in this one bag. Any guesses what it could be? Well I'm nice so I'll give you a little hint...

 

He's been on a quest for this game since we met. Of course this wasn't the only thing in the bag. He's also been on the hunt the console to play it on as well.

                                     

He's so easy to please. Just a Super Nintendo and Super Mario World and he's a happy man. Him and his sister used to have this and so did my brother and I. I feel old. So yeah, Chris is sitting here yelling, "I remember this!" "Oh, I hate this level!" "OMG Yoshi!" I need some Excedrin.

We also got some good news about yesterday's sperm banking. I'll talk more about that later. For now, I have some Bowser butt to kick er, watch Chris kick.

*It was our first purchase from Craigslist so we made sure we used the buddy system and met in a crowded place. We were nervous at first but the guy we got it from was super cool.

Short & Sweet

Tomorrow is a big day. We are headed down to the sperm bank so that Chris can make his er, contribution. It's weird to think that our kids will be from 23 year old Chris and who knows how old Ashley.

Chemotherapy starts on Monday. We have to get Chris' contribution before then. The drugs used for his chemo are strong enough that we don't want to take any chances on not being able to have kids one day.

About the chemotherapy...he'll be recieving three drugs* over a period of nine weeks. The week of December 14th-18th he will have chemotherapy every day. The next two weeks he will have nothing. His second round of chemo will be from January 4th-8th, with the following two weeks off. His last round will be January 25th-29th. Of course this is all depending on his labs, so if something needs to be tweaked then we'll go from there. Dr. K. seems to think these three rounds should do the trick.

His hair is going to fall out a couple of weeks after the chemotherapy starts. A month or so after his last round of chemotherapy it should start to grow back. In the words of Dr. K, "It'll be thicker, curlier, and a little bit gray." Can we say distinguished? I think we are going to need some toboggans to get through the winter.

As far as the side effects go, Dr. K. said that the only thing Chris would have trouble with is fatigue. He said if he has any nausea at all then he's not doing his job and he'd tweak the meds until he had no nausea. I'll believe it when I see it. I hope, for Chris' sake that he only has to deal with fatigue, I can't imagine being tired and nauseous at the same time.

Wish us Chris luck tomorrow.


*The three chemotherapy drugs he'll be getting are Bleomycin, Cisplatin, and Etoposide.

Why Wait?

Some of you are probably wondering why we waited so long to get Chris to a doctor. Like I said, we noticed something wasn't right about a month and a half before we did anything about it. The first reason was denial. I feel like we both knew what was going on (and hoped it would just go away) and that made the second reason even worse.

Chris doesn't have medical insurance.

It's a long story, and I'm not going into detail on here, but that's the gist of it. He should have it, but papers got lost in the shuffle (not on his end) and now he's got cancer and no insurance.

Did I mention I don't have a job right now either?

So, we bit the bullet and took him to the emergency room. I can't live without him ya know? Whatever the cost, he needs to get better! Needless to say we are struggling. We have family helping us out in all different ways but we still worry about it. Last night, I was worrying about money and doctor bills and life but Chris totally talked me out of that funk. He's good at that. We'll be fine, we just have a lot of prioritizing and money shuffling to do!

Chris went back to work about a week ago. How does that make me feel? Like total crap. There he is working and here I am sitting on my butt writing a blog. I guess it's guilt? I don't know, but I do wish I could go back to school (not happening now) instead, I'll probably end up with another crappy job just to pay the bills. That's a whole 'nother post.

Chris loves his job and I'm hoping that he gets to keep it. Of course he will! He's so strong! He needs it for his sanity. Dr K., his oncologist, said that he has the best possible job to have while going through chemotherapy. He sits at a desk and helps all of you people who call with questions/problems with your iPhones (he works for a contract company so not exactly for Apple otherwise I'm sure he'd have insurance). In fact, Dr. K. told Chris not to quit, or take a lot of time off, because that would be very unhealthy for his sanity! Haha. Sanity.

You know what helps me keep my sanity? Lunch dates with my friend Kim. She's having a baby and it totally takes my mind off of all of this. We met at Chuy's today and we had a good two and a half hour chat and chips and creamy jalapeno dip!

I've used a lot of parentheses in this post. It's annoying me.

I just want to take a minute and let my 3 readers (love ya'll!) know that, yes, this blog will be about Chris and his cancer...but originally I wanted to start this blog months ago for my own reasons. I was hoping it would be one of those fun crafty, recipe filled, witty blogs about mommyhood no I'm not pregnant but instead, right now it's this. I'm okay with that. Just know that from here on out I'll probably dabble into those other topics too. Okay, not the crafty part but I do love to cook and eat...I'm also planning on strapping Chris to the couch with my laptop so he'll post on here himself. Because I know you all love him madly. I think he's actually working on his own blog he's going to steal my 3 readers! so I'll point you in his direction whenever he lets me know.

Hey! So why don't you guys leave a comment. Just say Hi! or something. We'd like to meet our blog stalkers.

Pretty soon I'll be writing a post about chemotherapy. Look for it.

Alright this blog is all over the place I don't even know how to label it. I'm done.

This Guy?

I love this guy.

Day Two.

November 21 & 22, 2009:

Chris was in the hospital from Friday night until late Sunday afternoon. I left off on my last post just after his surgery* which happened Saturday afternoon.

We waited for Chris to come back up to his room after the surgery for what seemed like 1,000 forevers. I was itching to see him and to be totally honest-go home and shower and see/feed Jaycie (baby kitty.) Finally he got back into the room and he was out. Like, I was about to ask for some of what he had because he was so relaxed. I figured he'd be in and out of it for the next little bit so my aunt and her boyfriend stayed with him while I ran home. I kissed him and told him I'd be back in about an hour, and then my grandma drove me to our apartment (I'd been up for days at this point and she didn't trust me driving 10 miles back home.) Thanks grandma! I showered, picked up a few things and fed baby kitty. Just as we got into the car to drive back up to the hospital my phone rings.

My aunt- "Chris is hungry bring FOOD."
Me- "What does he want? Ask him what sounds good."
My aunt- "Oh he's already asleep again."
Me- "Ok be there in ten minutes."

I got back to the hospital (with no food) and he was wide awake. Aw. He was so happy to see me. Of course I don't even know if he knew I was ever gone. Just kidding baby of course you did!

And now begins what I like to call Morphine Chris...

Everyone finally left about six on Saturday night and it was the first time we had been alone all day. Chris was actually awake and alert now so I asked him again what he wanted for dinner. His request? Chicken strips and gravy from Sonic. Hello? Is my boyfriend in there? That's an Ashley request not a Chris request. Anyway thanks to my uncle (who really isn't my uncle because my aunt and uncle split but is still MY uncle) for stopping by Sonic and getting us food. He was gagging as he walked in with it and was like, "Dude, I could have brought you food from anywhere and you wanted this?" Let's just say Chris thoroughly enjoyed his gravy and chocolate malt. Ew.

Later that night...A new nurse. If you read my previous post then you've heard about Horrible Nurse. She was replaced with hmm, what shall we call her? Hold on let me ask Chris, ok, Nurse Cutie.

Gag me.

We'll blame it on the morphine. He looooooved Nurse Cutie.  Especially when she brought him meds. I think he tried to stay awake most of the night just so he could flirt talk with her. I love you Chris! He fully admits now that she was cute. I'm okay with that except for the farewell that went down while I was "sleeping" on a cot next to his bed. It was 6 in the morning on Sunday...

Nurse Cutie- "I'm leaving in about 30 minutes, do you want me to go ahead and give you more pain medicine now or do you want to wait until the next nurse comes in? I don't know how long that will be and I don't want you to be uncomfortable."
Chris- "Now, give it now."
Nurse Cutie- "Mmm K I'll be right back."

Three minutes later Nurse Cutie administers the goods and the farewells begin.

Nurse Cutie- "Ok, Chris, I'll be back tonight at 7 so if you're still here then I will see you then!"
Chris- "Oh, ok." (You can probably insert a sad face here but I was"sleeping" so I can't be sure) "You've been such a wonderful nurse and I just want to thank you for taking such good care of me. You've been awesomeeeee."
Nurse Cutie- "Well you haven't been so bad yourself!"

The tone of her voice made me sit straight up on that squeaky cot and she was outta there.

Okay, now that I type it out it doesn't sound so bad but you just had to be there. He was so drugged up that he was dragging out words and it would have been cute if he hadn't been so googly eyed. Funny story? My grandpa has had the same nurse and they compared favorite body parts "notes" as soon as my grandpa found out Chris had had her as his night nurse. Men.

I know this post is super long but I promise I'm getting to the goods here soon.

Oh did I mention that Horrible Nurse was back for the day? Joy. Of course, we didn't see much of her.

At 7:30 on Sunday morning in walks his oncologist. Dr. K. Holy cow he's an early bird. Immediately Chris and I look at each other and know we are going to love this guy. Dr. K. comes in and tells us that yes, the cancer has definitely spread into his abdomen (bad) and he has a two and a half inch mass on his abdomen and another smaller one as well (bad). We also learn then that testicular cancer spreads in a certain way. It originates in the testis, moves into the lymph nodes (in his groin), goes into the abdomen, then into the lungs, and finally ends up in the brain.  You know my friend Lance Armstrong? Well he's not really my friend but we'd love to meet him. Anyway, his testicular cancer had spread into his lungs and brain (this was in 1996.) And look at him now! Chris's cancer has only gotten as far as his abdomen(good.) No lungs or brain involved yet. Yay, Chris!

Back to Dr. K. and the plan of attack! He immediately told us that he wants Chris to bank sperm (chemo will most likely make him sterile.) Wow, it was hard to type that out and I'm sure hard for him to read. It's okay though because we have options. And, Dr. K. wants Chris to start chemotherapy on December 14th. Dr. K. said that testicular cancer is very responsive to chemotherapy and he is sure all of the cancer will be "mopped up"with chemotherapy treatments (good). Dr. K is very eccentric.

Did I mention we looooove him?

Chris was such a trooper and did so well the day after his surgery that he was released from the hospital on Sunday afternoon. Don't ask about the discharge. Horrible Nurse really lived up to her name on Sunday. I'm sure he was secretly sad he wouldn't get to see Nurse Cutie that night. But all was well and he got to sleep in his own bed! I can't believe we've been home for two weeks.

Who else saw that nail biter of a football game last night? I can't believe those Longhorns. Of course I'll admit the game wasn't too interesting until there was only about two minutes left in the fourth. Or ONE second left in the fourth!

*Go read the previous post, it talks more about his inguinal orchiectomy...I should let you guys know that Chris really didn't have much pain after the surgery and morphine. Mostly when he switched positions, laying to sitting etc, and walking up/down three flights of stairs (because who wanted a third floor apartment? Oh yeah, that was me) he felt a little pain. Nothing a little Motrin couldn't handle.

Two Weeks Ago Today

November 20 & 21, 2009:

Chris was diagnosed with testicular cancer. His life was turned upside down, as was mine. This blog is to inform anyone who wants to know about the journey we are going through as we speak.* If you don't want to read about the nitty gritty details of our every day life battling cancer then turn away now beacuse here it goes...


Let's talk about the ER visit. We intially went into the emergency room Friday night because yes, his testicle was swollen, and yes we ignored it for too long. More on why we waited later...The ER doctor looked at me during the examination and asked me if we were sure there had been no trauma to the area. "Yes, Dr. R., I beat my boyfriend on a regular basis down there. Not!" Initially, I thought he was thinking that maybe we did some super kinky stuff (embarrassing!) or I was beating him ( uh, negative). I now know that he was just hoping it wasn't what he thought it was. He scheduled blood work and we (I) knew right then what it was. Actually, we knew what it was (cancer) about a month and a half before we did anything about it. But we didn't talk about it. Denial. After the blood work he had a CT scan and then an ultrasound. It was the quickest, most productive emergency room visit that I'd ever witnessed. Without any answers, just a hint that "It may be testicular cancer" Chris was admitted to the hospital. Needless to say we didn't sleep that night. We got into the room about 2:30 am. Immediately they stopped his fluids and I knew that wasn't a good sign. Surgery. I had to beg the nurse for ice and water but she made me promise my first born I wouldn't share with him. Poor Chris. On to Saturday morning.


Horrible Nurse (that's what we'll call her) PEEKED HER HEAD IN THE DOOR about 9 am and asked if we had any family that could come be with us because the doctor would be there about 10. I was like HOLD UP. What the hell is going on?! You have to know that at this point we had been told nothing since Chris had been admitted and I had to beg for ice and water the night before. Horrible Nurse proceeded to RUN AWAY and we didn't see her until a few hours later. So, here I am pacing the floor freaking out because why do we need family? What is this? I begged Chris to let me call some family because I needed them there and he may not admit it but so did he. Fast forward to 10ish that morning.


A urologist, we'll call him Dr. M. came in, introduced himself, and asked who was going to take notes. At this point my cousin, grandparents, aunt, and her boyfriend were all there. Val, my cousin was quickly chosen to be the note taker. Thank God because I only heard bits and pieces after he said "We are 95% sure that you have testicular cancer." Some of the bits that I heard were...surgery right away, we suspect it may have spread and sperm banking. I lost it. Hard. I think Chris was in shock because he was just sitting there holding my hand. A few tears came toward the end of the meeting with Dr. M., but I think Chris was just ready to get this show on the road.


Shortly three hours later after the diagnosis, he was taken into surgery to have an inguinal orchiectomy. Dr. M, made the surgery short and sweet but you couldn't tell by looking at me. I was a hot mess sitting in that waiting room on the most dreary Saturday of my life.






*Also, the purpose of this blog is so that Chris and I can keep our facts straight and we can look back and read the details (why would we want to do that?!) some day down the road.