Bi-Monthly Conversations

On Thursday, Chris had his 6 month post cancer chest x-ray. We will find out the results and have a doctor's visit on Friday. He has these appointments every two months.

Sometimes we have the bi-monthly conversations walking through the hall at the hospital. Sometimes it happens as we are driving to the hospital. It has even happened as we are leaving the hospital to go home. Regardless, we have the same conversation every two months...

Him- "Am I always going to be nervous about these check-ups?"
Me- "Probably, but I feel okay about it. I just hope I haven't gotten a false sense of security."
Him- "I'm nervous/scared. I can't believe it's already been __ months since it all started."
Me- "Yep, and we got through it. Together."

I have to admit, I feel a little less scared/stressed now that we have insurance. Thank God for insurance. It could not have come at a better time.

Now if we could just pay off the $30,000 hospital bill and the $13,000 chemo bill. Right, Chris? But at least one doctor will be paid off as of October 1st! <:dances around the room:>

The process of getting the x-ray is super fast and painless. It's waiting the whole week after it's taken that's no fun.

A few weeks ago we were out having dinner and Chris saw a guy about our age who was eating alone. He wouldn't have said anything about it until he saw the tape. You know? The colored tape they wrap around your arm after drawing your blood/taking out an IV.

Yeah that.

I could tell that Chris felt bad for him. The guy didn't have much hair, and he wasn't getting around very fast. I don't know if he was getting treatments or what but just to see him eating there alone made me feel bad. I asked Chris if he thought going through treatments alone would have been as successful as going through treatments with me/a support system. He was like, "Uh, what do you think?!"

I'm glad I could be there for him, and I'm glad/thankful we are still getting ourselves through this together...even with all of the debt and doctor's appointments.

Today-Sad Face

Chris is sad. His last day at his job is today. He had a one year contract at Apple through Volt and that year ends today. Today.

Today he turns in his Apple badge.

I remember the day he came home with that badge. He was so stinkin' excited. You see, he'd been at Home Depot for nearly two years....getting paid pretty much nothing for doing everyone else's job plus his.

When he got the job at Apple he thought he was getting his foot in the door. He wants to do the job he has been doing for the last year. Unlike the people who are getting hired on at Apple every day who don't like their jobs at all. People who complain every day. People who call in "sick" once or twice a week. People who are searching for jobs other places while being Apple badged.

It makes me ill. I don't know how Chris did it. I wouldn't have had any friends there.

During the year that he worked there, he applied for Apple badged jobs every opportunity he had. He had a few interviews...but nothing ever came of it. It's not like he hasn't been trying.

So much has happened in the year that he has been at Apple via Volt.

I quit my job-hoping to find something more along the lines of what I wanted to do. No luck there.

By August 2009, I had plans to go back to school in the spring.

Cancer diagnosis in November.

No school, still no job for me.

Now we are here. April 30.

It feels like we are worse off than this time last year. We couldn't afford to stay in our apartment, so we've moved in with my aunt. So thankful we had somewhere to go. We have medical bills up to our ears.

But this is about Chris. He's the one that deserves the job that he wants. When will it be his turn? How many days of work did he miss during the months of November-February? Three and a half...and might I add that chemo made him tired as hell. In fact, that's all he's missed in the last year. Really?

I told him he should have missed as much work as he wanted. Apparently then he would have gotten hired on at Apple.

For now, we are holding our breath and hoping something gives soon.

Let's Compare...

On Friday, I posted this. That was four days ago. Chris' hair has grown even more. Like, seriously. I've never seen hair grow this fast. It's pretty hilarious actually. Ya know, waking up next to someone who looks different every day. The hair fairy comes every night these days. Let's do a little comparison shall we?

About 2 weeks ago:

Last Friday:

And today:

(Helping Mason with his homework)

It's definitely growing back lighter than it was, but we still can't tell what color. Chris thinks it looks red, but I'd call it more of a grey/blonde/brown color. I told you we couldn't figure out the color. One thing is for sure, it's not red. Sorry Chris. He's always had a thing for red hair.

Take that chemotherapy drugs!!

It's Growing

Remember those commercials for the Chia pets they used to play all day during bad daytime TV?

Ch-ch-cha-CHIA!

I've been singing that little song in my head because Chris' hair is out. of. control.

It's growing like crazy. Here's a little comparison-

Here he is about a week and a half ago.

And here he is yesterday.

Crazy fast.

He's happy. Ya know, in case you couldn't tell.

 

Last Tuesday!

Last Tuesday was Chris' LAST CHEMOTHERAPY Tuesday!

He was stoked.

So were his nurses.

This conversation even took place between Chris and a nurse we've never seen before who took his IV out that day-

Nurse- "So I hear it's your last chemo?"

Chris- "Yes!"

Nurse- "What kind of cancer?"

Chris- "Testicular."

Nurse- "Oh! Well we won't be seeing you around these parts again. We never see you testicular patients again."

Chris nervously says- "Uh, how come? Why's that?"

Another nurse in the background laughs.

Nurse- "Oh well because the cancer's gone hun."

Chris- "Well I haven't had my CT Scan yet so we aren't 100% sure yet."

Nurse- "Boy, if I could pick a cancer to get I'd choose testicular, but I don't have the right equipment."

Chris and I just looked at each other and busted out laughing.

I can't think of a cancer I'd ever choose even if I had the right equipment.

On another note, on that same day Chris sat two chairs down from a guy who was maybe 18 years old.

He was diagnosed with testicular cancer on December 22nd. We knew, as soon as we heard the nurse talking to him about Bleo, that he had testicular cancer. So, Chris isn't the youngest person anymore in the infusion room. That we've seen anyway.

Needless to say, Chris felt super guilty about talking about his last chemo since this guy and his mother were within earshot. It was hard for him to contain his excitement when his favorite nurse Hannah came up to congratulate him.

You shoulda seen him when we were walking out to the car to leave though.

Excitement- all over his face.

Last Chemotherapy TUESDAY!

I know Chris is psyched about not having to be poked and drugged at all next week because...

Today is the last chemotherapy Tuesday!! Not only is it the last chemotherapy Tuesday, it's the last chemo, ever. Or at least until he has his scan and then we go from there. Happy thoughts! 

 Chris also has a doctors appointment with the oncologist today. I do have some questions but that'll be a later post when I have some answers. I've scheduled this post at 1 PM..because that's when he'll be getting his last chemo treatment ever!

HAPPY LAST CHEMOTHERAPY TUESDAY CHRIS!!

Week In Review

Chris had chemotherapy this last week. Every. Single. Morning. He worked a half day on Monday, but took the rest of the week off. We (yes Chris too!) both love chemo week for that reason. A mini-vacation for him.

This was his last full week of chemo. At least his last planned week. He's almost done entirely with it all. I'll write out a full post of what's left to do another time.

He felt good this week. Like, really good. I told him it made me nervous because what if that means the chemo isn't working anymore? Leave it to me to worry though. We are both glad he is feeling good...Good enough to help me babysit my 4 and 5 year old cousins (on Wednesday which is the day he usually starts feeling bad)...Good enough to jump on a trampoline with said cousins for an hour...Good enough to let them jump on him while jumping on the trampoline.

He'll be a great dad. But I already knew that.

At the beginning of the week, there was a guy maybe in his late 20's wheeled into the infusion room for treatment. He looked really bad. Chris and I just looked at each other. I can't imagine Chris in that bad of a state. He was on pain killers and just looked so helpless. His girlfriend/wife was right there with him though. You could tell he'd been sick for a while. I've been wondering about him all week. It's so sad to see anyone, much less young people, so sick.

Chris is known as the "young cute one" by the infusion nurses. He doesn't let me forget it either. Chris is the youngest patient I've seen getting chemo in there. Maybe he is a good change for the nurses, with his young cute self.

Friday, while Chris was getting chemo, this lady was at the end of her last chemo cycle. The nurses threw confetti and took a picture with her and her family. I don't know how I felt about that. I mean, great! for her for getting better and stuff but what about the other 19 people sitting there getting treatment? I guess I should look at it as, "Okay, yay, happy and healthy is possible after going through all of this mess." But I felt more like, "Wow, way to rub it in everyone's face." How selfish is that? I mean, I have no idea what she went through.

Chris didn't say anything at all.

There's our week in a nutshell. Most important thing is that he is feeling good.

How's Chris doing?

Anyone watch the game on Thursday? We did, although it wasn't easy.

That's all I have to say about that.

Does it make me a bad Texan for wishing Rick Bayless would be on PBS all day/night so that I don't have to watch the Cowboys tonight? It's the only show Chris will watch instead of football, when it's on. Oh and BBQ U. We love PBS. And cooking.

Speaking of cooking, I'm attempting to make a chicken pot pie from scratch today. Scratch meaning pie crust from the refrigerated section of the store but everything else from scratch. I'm not sure how I feel about it. I'll let you know.

A few nights ago we made chicken fried steaks and gravy. The steaks were good, the gravy? Notsomuch. I'll post the recipe sometime, for the chicken friend steaks, not the gravy. That same night Chris made mashed potatoes. They were really good. He seasoned them with all kinds of stuff. I used to couldn't get him in the kitchen, unless he was eating. Now he's in there helping out all the time. Tear. I'm so proud.

Can you tell I'm hungry?

And the burning question everyone keeps asking...How's Chris doing?

• He feels like hell.
• He is working though because he figures he's going to feel crappy whether he's at home or at work. So, might as well get paid to feel crappy.
• This morning his stomach was bothering him but he couldn't tell me how. Frusturating. Also, I forgot to stick an anti-nausea pill in his lunch box. Bad girlfriend.
• So, he's stuck at work for 11 hours with a yucky tummy.
• I know it is the steroid that is killing his stomach. He doesn't have nausea unless he's taking it. He's got a prescription for anti nausea pills but he hasn't needed taken any yet. They will make him sleepy. He takes the steroid the Saturday, Sunday, and Monday after his full week of chemo. That's when his stomach kills him.
• Thank you Zantac.

I guess that's it. Oh, besides the fact that it was 14 degrees this morning. Hello winter!

Thanks for reading ya'll. We really appreciate it.

I'm going to hear it for posting this picture, but look! It's my family! Meet Jaycie, she hates my camera.

Chemo Schmeeemo

Chris had chemo today. But, you already knew that. He feels good. Good enough to be bugging the crap out of me right now, I'm not complaining. That'll change toward the end of the week though. The way he feels, not the complaining!

As expected his ANC is low. Like 600 low. Normal is 1,500. It's the chemo. It's killling! getting rid of all of his good WBC's! This just means he can't fight infection as well. No good, especially this time of year when so much crap is going around. Anyway. I've quarantined him in our 800 sq ft apartment. He already has a sore throat. Probably from me because I've been fighting something for the last two weeks. Dr. J* told us about some meds that he can take though if he starts feeling really crappy. She said for now to fear a fever.

How about instead of fearing a fever we just avoid it? Yeahokthanks.

Other than that Dr. J said the usual. "Oh he's doing good." Blah blah blah. Not sure why we are paying (thank you non-existant insurance!) for a weekly doctor visit when we see them maybe two minutes and they ask the same questions as the techs.

There is my rant.

*Dr. J is Dr.K's associate? I don't really know. We see her as much as we see him.

The Week Ahead

It's going to be nuts this next week. Chris has chemotherapy every morning M-F. And he's planning on going to work after on Monday and Friday (his days off are T/W/Th). I think he'll feel good enough to go on Monday, but Friday? I don't know. I hope that for his sake he feels good enough to go but we'll just have to wait and see. Here's how the week is shaping up:

• Monday-8:30 a.m.- Dr. appt (Dr. K*), Labs, Chemotherapy-should be done by noon, Chris will go to work until 7:30.
• Tuesday-8:30 a.m.- Chemotherapy- should be done by 12:30 or 1...on Tuesday along with his Cisplatin and Etoposide he gets his Bleomycin. Chris doesn't work today!
• Wednesday- 8:30 a.m.- Chemotherapy-should be done by noon. Chris doesn't work today!
• Thursday- 8:30 a.m.- Chemotherapy- should be done by noon. Chris doesn't work today! Watch the GAME @ 7!
• Friday- 8:30 a.m.- Chemotherapy- should be done by noon, Chris maybe goes to work until 7:30.

I'm a little tired just thinking about this next week. I can't imagine how Chris feels. Oh yeah...how is Chris feeling? He's feeling good, normal. I think he's dreading this week because he knows how crappy/tired he will feel by about Wednesday. He's still loving his bald head. Me too!

*Dr. K is Chris' wonderful/awesome/wonderful oncologist.

A Day In The Life

We had a busy day today. First, we went to see Dr. M. (urologist) mostly just to check on his side of this things. He did the surgery. Everything went good. He told Chris how awesome he was for being so positive, with all he's been going through. It was nice. Next, Chris wanted breakfast and who was I to say no?

Yes, Rudy's breakfast tacos make him that happy. You should see the other picture I took. Maybe if you ask nicely some other time :) After breakfast we ran a couple more errands and then the big one.

Yup, he got his head shaved. His hair started falling out really bad yesterday. It was time. He loves it. See, he knew he loved his bald head before he even looked in the mirror.

See, I told you. He can't stop looking at his head now. Or touching it. Or asking me to touch it. Or talking about it. Seriously, he likes it. A Lot.

I like it. It's kind of weird that when I first met Chris, four years ago, he had hair past his shoulders. It was really long. When he moved to TX (almost 3  years ago) I begged him to cut it off. He did. Now he has no hair at all! If I'm not careful he might never let it grow back. I miss his hair already but it'll just take some getting used too.

It is super cold outside today. Maybe that's why the lady looked at us like we were crazy when he walked in and told her to shave it all off. Look at that though! So cute! Did I mention it's freezing outside?

That's ice. It's cold. After he got his head shaved, he went and bought me some new windshield wipers and put them on. What a sweetie. Next, it was time for CHEMOTHERAPY TUESDAY. 

Yeah...he was busy today. Yes, that is a pink iPod and yes he's comfortably watching TV. I on the other hand was bored out of my mind so I finally got up the guts to bust out my camera in the chemo room. I was hiding behind a wall. Don't want to piss any old people off, ya know?

What does the rest of the day hold? Well, we are going to babysit my little cousins tonight so their parents can go out and have some fun. And that'll wrap up our day. Whew! I need a nap. Speaking of nap, where's Chris? Oh yeah, he's passed out on the bed.

Leave some love!

The Hair Fairy

Chris is losing his hair. I told him when the chemo started that I bet he'd start losing it right around Christmas. I'm so smart.

But, this isn't about me.

He texted me from work yesterday and told me his facial hair had started coming out. Sad day. So he showed me last night and he was totally right. The hair on his head was still hanging in there though.

But then, the hair fairy came last night. While getting ready for work this morning he yelled, "Well, here we go!" I figured he was talking about the hair on his head falling out. Yep. It's not "falling" out yet but if you grab some it comes out really easy.

He's going to shave it all off on Tuesday. Hopefully it doesn't start falling out really bad while he's at work today and tomorrow. 

At first he didn't want me to blog about/take a picture of it, which I can understand...but then he came in with this...

...And he told me I should blog about it. I don't know what made him change his mind.

Chemotherapy Day 1

Don't expect an update every day Chris has chemotherapy. Frankly, it was boring and not as big of a deal as we thought it would be. Initally, we had been told that he'd be there from 8:30-5 today. When we got there we were informed we would only be there from 8:30-2. Well, At 11:15 we were done! Chris had an appointment with the doctor before the chemotherapy even began...then he had to have some labs drawn. He didn't even start the chemotherapy until about 9:15. Yeah, that was our day.

Today he recieved Etoposide, and Cisplatin as his chemotherapy drugs. He also got a steroid to help with the fatigue and an anti nausea medication. I didn't get the names of these last two drugs but I'll find out tomorrow.

How is he feeling? Well he had a little bit of light headedness (I don't know if that's even a word) this afternoon but I think that has subsided. Mostly, I think he was freaking out about the thought of poison running through his veins. He has too vivid of an imagination for this kind of stuff! Now he is relaxing watching some TV (The Big Bang Theory) and he keeps saying his tummy feels weird. Nothing bad though.

In the morning we go back for day 2. He will get the same four drugs he got today plus his third chemotherapy drug Bleomycin, which he only gets once every chemotherapy week.

I felt kind of weird pulling my camera out today during his chemotherapy- there are pretty much just 15 chairs lined up with people getting chemotherapy/nurses running around-so I just snapped a pic on the way home.

The purple tape is from having blood drawn. The blue tape is where his IV was. Just a note- his shirt says "Gold Medal Champion." It always bothers me when I can't tell what writing in a picture says.

  This is what Chris did for the rest of the day. Well he was on the computer and he played a little Super Mario. It took his mind off things for a little bit.

That about sums up our day. Told you it was boring. Not that boring is bad by any means. Also, just want to say thanks for all of my family who helped ME out this weekend. I don't know if you guys read or not but thanks for saving my butt. And the chowder was delish!

Short & Sweet

Tomorrow is a big day. We are headed down to the sperm bank so that Chris can make his er, contribution. It's weird to think that our kids will be from 23 year old Chris and who knows how old Ashley.

Chemotherapy starts on Monday. We have to get Chris' contribution before then. The drugs used for his chemo are strong enough that we don't want to take any chances on not being able to have kids one day.

About the chemotherapy...he'll be recieving three drugs* over a period of nine weeks. The week of December 14th-18th he will have chemotherapy every day. The next two weeks he will have nothing. His second round of chemo will be from January 4th-8th, with the following two weeks off. His last round will be January 25th-29th. Of course this is all depending on his labs, so if something needs to be tweaked then we'll go from there. Dr. K. seems to think these three rounds should do the trick.

His hair is going to fall out a couple of weeks after the chemotherapy starts. A month or so after his last round of chemotherapy it should start to grow back. In the words of Dr. K, "It'll be thicker, curlier, and a little bit gray." Can we say distinguished? I think we are going to need some toboggans to get through the winter.

As far as the side effects go, Dr. K. said that the only thing Chris would have trouble with is fatigue. He said if he has any nausea at all then he's not doing his job and he'd tweak the meds until he had no nausea. I'll believe it when I see it. I hope, for Chris' sake that he only has to deal with fatigue, I can't imagine being tired and nauseous at the same time.

Wish us Chris luck tomorrow.


*The three chemotherapy drugs he'll be getting are Bleomycin, Cisplatin, and Etoposide.