About That...

I don't have Leukemia. Or Lupus. Or anything just have a really high count of lymphocytes and a really low count of neutrophils. They don't now what it's all about.

At least I don't have to be Dr. K's patient! Yay for that.

I have to go back in 4 months to have the same blood tests again to see if anything has changed. I'm relieved, but I'm also annoyed that I don't have an answer. Why am I always so sleepy? How come I have no energy? They said I was a bit anemic but apparently it isn't anything too serious because I wasn't told how to fix it.

Humph.

But, yay for keeping the cancer away!

Waiting.

I hate waiting. I am no good at it. That's what I did this weekend though, and by this weekend I mean until at least Wednesday when my lab results come back. 

I went to see Dr. K on Friday. He doesn't think it's Leukemia, and he's doing labs on me to prove it (his words). That's all fine and great, but he does think something is up. So he's running all kinds of tests. Turns out, he's more interested in my low Neutrophils. Don't google that, it's scary. He's checking my bone marrow function (which basically means he's checking for any blood cancers) and that's all that I can remember now a few days later. Clearly I should have posted this sooner. Oh, he's also checking for Lupus, and to make sure I don't have any random viruses hanging around that I just can't kick. 

So yeah. Waiting.

The nurse was so confused when she walked into the exam room and saw C and I sitting there. She was like, "Wait a minute, I know it's not time for your check up C..." Then she looked at me and was like, "DANG!".

Like I told the nurse and Dr. K, I love them and all but I don't want to be their patient. 

Hopefully answers will come soon...

I Giggled

Today, I laughed right in my doctor's face. Ok, so it was more of a youhavetobeshittingme giggle. Nonetheless, life has got to be freaking kidding me right now.

Back in January I had blood work done, just routine, yearly stuff. When the results of the blood work came back, my white blood cell count was way high.

I wasn't surprised by this because a few summers ago (okay, before my mom died, so maybe summer 2006?) I was sick in the ER and they took blood and saw the same thing. No big. I guess they just assumed because I was sick that's why my count was high. 

Apparently not, because it was high again in January-6 years later. And last week, when we ran all the same tests again, those stupid white blood cells were still crazy high. So the doc checked my thyroid. No problems there. Of course I told him that wasn't the issue to begin with because I'd just had my thyroid checked in 2008. So he's sending me to a hematologist. My first preference is Dr. K because he's been in the family for a while, ya know?

The conversation with my doctor today went something like this-

 

Doc- "So I want to send you to a hematologist, do you know one in the area?"

Me- "Well I think that Dr. K specializes in hematology as well as oncology, and I'd like to go to him."

Doc- "Oh, ok great! Good thing. So he needs to look at your lymphocytes and make sure they look good so we can rule out LEUKEMIA."

And then I giggled. 

For real? Is this really happening? Did he really just say that?

For the record, since I was kept waiting (for an hour after my scheduled appointment) with my blood test results in hand, I of course, consulted Dr. Google. Of course I have 4 out of the six "symptoms". Of course.

Stupid. Stupid.

So now, while my grandma is getting her treatment/radiation tomorrow, I'll be making myself an appointment with Dr. K. You know, so he can rule out LEUKEMIA. 

Honestly.

We're Still At It*

A month to the day after I (we) started this whole 3 miles 4 times a week thing, I posted this picture...

This was as of February 14th. There were a couple of times that I didn't use the app so you can add about 6 miles to this. 

Ask me how I celebrated the consistency of working out for A WHOLE MONTH?

By not working out but twice last week. I know. I suck. And I tried to blame it on the weather. It sleeted/snowed for goodness sake! But? The truth was that I just didn't feel like doing it. And I ate like crap. So. Yeah.

I'm stuck at the seven pounds lost. I guess seven pounds in a month isn't bad, and I know I could've done more to see better results but I didn't.

The point is, I'm back at it. I went on Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, and I don't care how tired I am, I'll go today as well. 

I've pinned a lot of stretches/exercises on Pinterest, so I'm thinking I'll give those a go on the days I don't walk. 

On the upside, it's been over 50 days since I've had a soda. I can't believe it myself. Also, when I went to the doctor last week, the nurse noticed I'd lost a few pounds, that made me feel good. And? Monday on the trail, an older lady and her dog totally cheered me on. It felt good to get support from a total stranger.

Baby steps.

*And C is kicking butt as well. He's losing more weight than I, but don't guys usually do? 

I Did It

I haven't had so much as a sip of caffeine in the last month. I can't believe I did it. Early mornings used to have me counting down the minutes until my lunch time Coke. Not anymore. 

I really don't even crave them. When I do? I know it's just because I'm on the verge of dehydration because I have a hard time drinking enough water. 

My co-worker E asked me if I felt any different since I cut out the caffeine. I do. I sleep better at night, that's for sure. And? I wake up more rested. As in, I'm always up at least 10 minutes before the alarm goes off at 5:45. 

I've been asked if, since I reached my goal, I would go back. 

Heck no.

I'm on a roll.

7 Down (And A Smoothie)

I'm seven pounds down in the last two weeks. I'll take it.

I don't feel like I'm working my butt off or anything, so it's quite surprising actually. I think after a few more weeks of exercise, I'll feel even better.

I guess all the spinach for breakfast is paying off, eh? Not even kidding, I've been having a smoothie for breakfast for the last three weeks and I've been throwing all kinds of crap in there.

This morning, I threw in:

Spinach (I can't believe it myself)

Strawberries

Bananas

Blueberries

Greek yogurt

Protein powder

Milk

Splenda (2 packets)

Cinnamon

The funny thing? 5 out of 9 of those things, I would never eat on their own.

But together? Yum. I keep thinking I'll get tired of them, but I make each one a little different, and it just hasn't happened.

The best part? I can drink it on my way to work. I don't have much time for breakfast in the morning and since I commute, I just drink it on the way. This is all happening around 6:45am.

Around 11am I eat a cheese stick, or a handful of almonds.

For lunch around 1pm I eat a big fat salad (with more spinach!) and an apple.

On the drive home from work (4:45), if I'm planning on going walking/running then I'll eat a bar of some sort. I'm still looking for one I like. 

Dinner (around 7) is the hardest meal for me to deal with. I plan our meals out for the week but it's still a struggle finding recipes that are pretty easy to make and good/healthy. I'm getting there though.

I've had a few winners, and a few losers.

And don't forget the water. I get up twice to pee during the night because I've been drinking so much. TMI?

So yeah. I'll take seven pounds. I don't feel it in my clothes yet, but I will.

And I can't wait.

Three Miles

Three miles, four times a week. That's what we're doing right now. I'm definitely not running it either, no freaking way. Not yet anyway. I do love this Nike+ app though.

We're one week down.

I don't think I know how to run. When I run, I feel like my brain is jiggling around in my head and my boobs are slapping me in the face. I'm not even kidding, I need to tape those puppies down. It hurts.

My grandma took my measurements on Friday and ohmygosh. I'm so top heavy. I think I'll take them every friday night. I also jumped on the scale and found that I'd lost 5 pounds since the last Friday. While that feels great and all, I haven't noticed any change in the way my clothes are fitting and that's what I'm waiting for.

I want results now, dangit!

In addition to the walking, I've been cooking a bit healthier and we're cutting back on our carb intake. I love me some carbs. Seriously. It's bad. I'm upping the protein in my morning smoothie and eating salads and fruit for lunch. The munchies always hit me after I eat dinner. I always want something sweet. So, that's a struggle.

I really only have cravings on the weekends. Last weekend all I wanted was bread. And oatmeal. And a baked potato. 

But I'm trying to focus on the wins. You know, the fact that I haven't had a soda in 24 days. That's huge. So huge, I even had a nightmare about accidentally having a couple of sips of a soda.

Operation get rid of the double chin is in full force around here.

I'm Rockin' This

Remember when I went to the doctor a few weeks ago? Well, a week after I went, they called and said I had to schedule an appointment to talk about the results of my blood work. I was freaking out.

Of course I immediately assumed the worst. My family history includes diabetes...high cholesterol...you name it.

Turns out my cholesterol is a little on the high side. Not high enough to take medication for thank goodness but high enough that I need to be aware. 

I was scared to death it was going to be the "D" word. I am not ready for that. My mom had diabetes and since she had it, I'm 50% more likely to end up with it. 

I had already been taking steps to overhaul my diet. For example?

I haven't had a soda since New Year's Eve. 

That's big for me people. I just quit them. Cold turkey. I only really want one when we are out to eat somewhere, but I just order water and try not to think about it. I used to be really good at disciplining myself and drinking one of the small 8 oz cans per day (on my lunch break). Toward the end of last year I was drinking WAY more than that. And? I felt like crap.

My doctor told me that it can take up to two months for the soda cravings to go away completely. Apparently caffeine is one of the hardest things to kick. I don't (never have) drink coffee. Yuck. So I do have that going for me.

I'm proud of myself. 

I'm rockin' this.

And guess what I had for breakfast the other morning?

 Yogurt. 

In a smoothie. I loathe yogurt. Gag. And this wasn't any ordinary yogurt, it was Greek and so freaking thick I thought I was going to hurl. I doctored it up a bit and it was fine though. So what if I acted like it was a milkshake from Sonic? 

Moving on.

Initially at the beginning of the year I had planned on signing up for WW but when I was talking to my Dr. he asked how much weight I was wanting to lose and I told him 50 pounds. He told me to bulk up on my proteins (especially for breakfast) and cut my carbs (especially after lunch). And no fruit in the evening.

That's going to be so hard for me because there's not much protein I like. And there's not many carbs I don't love. But about the protein...

Eggs? Yuck. 

Yogurt? We already went through that. 

Beans/hummus? Lots of protein, but also lots of carbs. And I'm not totally sold on hummus yet anyway. I don't think I've found a brand I like.

Fish? No way. Chris is the fish lover in this family.

Basically I guess I'll be living off of chicken breasts for the next few months. And cheese. I love me some cheese. What I really love is pasta and potatoes though.

Man this could get hard.

But I haven't had a soda in nearly TWO WEEKS!

So for now I'm holding off on the WW thing. I'm going to read up on the South Beach Diet. What I really mean by that is that I'm going to look up recipes. 

Yeah, that. 

And I will continue to bake. Because? I like to do it. I will give everything that I make away, but I will still bake.

Now if I could just get in gear and start working out. That's a whole different post though. 

How Old Am I Again?

I went to the doctor a few days ago. I've been putting off this appointment for months. Maybe years. But I didn't just admit that.

Yeah. I'm not sure when it started, but I avoid going to the doctor as much as possible. I feel like they're going to find something wrong with me regardless. I had some issues with my blood pressure a couple of years ago, but it's looking good now!

I'm high strung, remember?

Anyway. I've been having left shoulder pain for the last 5, count them, FIVE months. It started the day that I started my job. August 1st.

So, I mentioned it when I went in last week. The doc feels pretty sure that I have a torn rotator cuff. Google that. That's something that baseball pitcher's get. 

Um, yeah how did that happen? I know exactly how it happened. So? Now what am I supposed to do? I can't not work, but the movements (lifting babies and sitting them on my left hip) is what caused it in the first place. 

Stressed.

It's really painful, and I'm supposed to wait a month before starting any physical therapy. 

I need a new career. 

I'm 25. I shouldn't feel like a 70 year old.

I'm Not Freaking Out

I'm really not. It's Christmas Eve for pete's sake. 

I'm not freaking out.

Yesterday I went with Chris to the doctor. He's been having some issues with his blood pressure being high off and on the last couple of years. We mainly have documentation of that when he was going through chemo. We're trying to figure out if the chemo had something to do with it.

So, we wanted to get that under control. Of course, when he had is BP taken yesterday it was perfect. Of course. 

So we'll just be monitoring that for the next month and if it gets high he'll be taking a diuretic.

And then he mentioned to Dr. N. about the headaches he's been having... Which he's been having basically since I've known him (nearly 6! years). They come a couple of times a week and hang around for a couple of days. I was just assuming that the headaches had something to do with the high blood pressure we thought he had. That would have been the easy answer right? 

That's not looking to be the likely case now.

And so he's having a CT scan of his brain on January 5th.

Oh. My. God.

That's how we found out about my mom's brain aneurysm. After she passed away I had to have one myself. Everything came back normal for me, and I can only hope that Chris has the same results.

I'm telling myself that this is just the way they weed out this big things that could be wrong, and that they'll end up diagnosing him with migraines. Not that those aren't a big thing, but an aneurysm is way bigger. 

I just want this to be done. It brings back way too many memories for both of us.

I do always jump to the worst possible conclusion with everything, but how can I not in this situation? He'll be fine. He better be fine. 

Merry Christmas Eve. Go hug the ones you love. And even the ones you don't.