An Anniversary We'd Rather Forget

I've been trying to write this post in my head for the last week. I can't do it, but I need to. So, it's all over the place, but here it is.

The major things that stick in my head a whole year (to the day) later are hearing these words-

tesitcular cancer

surgery

 sperm banking

chemotherapy

And then I also remember passing out on the bathroom floor the night we came home from the hospital, while Chris was taking a shower. He found me on the floor. Here he was, trying to rouse me while he was barely even standing himself. I was mentally and physically exhausted.

We've been thinking about this weekend (from last year) all weekend. It doesn't feel like it's already been a year since the diagnosis. A year since the surgery, and finding out that we'd never be able to have kids without IVF. It's been a year since his contribution.

How fitting that we will be thinking about this time in our lives (maybe for the rest of our lives), when our world was turned upside down, when we are supposed to be thinking about things we are thankful for.

I've gone back and read about his first day of chemotherapy. And his last.

You guys out there were reading along as I told you about the success (my favorite post ever!) of every procedure he's been through. It had all payed off! Through the hair loss, nausea, fatigue, and sleepless nights (for me). Oh, and don't get me started on the financial debt. It was all worth it.

He's cancer free. Dr. K. asked us at Chris' last appointment how it would feel for us to get to grow old together now.  I almost cried.

I started this blog for you guys to keep up with his journey. Even though he's through the hardest parts of that journey, I will continue to blog.

We are so thankful for those of you who helped us out during the last year. I can't even put in to words how grateful we are for everything you did. You know who you are. And to the readers who came back to read my posts, whether they were rants about the chemo, celebrations about the outcome, and everything in between, thank you!

This has been a trying year for both of us.

Chris and I have been through a ton together. The cancer was just another bump in the road.

So this week, and every day for the rest of our lives, we will be thankful for the anniversary we'd rather forget because if it had never happened, we'd probably (no we would) be two totally different people right now.