I'm Not Freaking Out

I'm really not. It's Christmas Eve for pete's sake. 

I'm not freaking out.

Yesterday I went with Chris to the doctor. He's been having some issues with his blood pressure being high off and on the last couple of years. We mainly have documentation of that when he was going through chemo. We're trying to figure out if the chemo had something to do with it.

So, we wanted to get that under control. Of course, when he had is BP taken yesterday it was perfect. Of course. 

So we'll just be monitoring that for the next month and if it gets high he'll be taking a diuretic.

And then he mentioned to Dr. N. about the headaches he's been having... Which he's been having basically since I've known him (nearly 6! years). They come a couple of times a week and hang around for a couple of days. I was just assuming that the headaches had something to do with the high blood pressure we thought he had. That would have been the easy answer right? 

That's not looking to be the likely case now.

And so he's having a CT scan of his brain on January 5th.

Oh. My. God.

That's how we found out about my mom's brain aneurysm. After she passed away I had to have one myself. Everything came back normal for me, and I can only hope that Chris has the same results.

I'm telling myself that this is just the way they weed out this big things that could be wrong, and that they'll end up diagnosing him with migraines. Not that those aren't a big thing, but an aneurysm is way bigger. 

I just want this to be done. It brings back way too many memories for both of us.

I do always jump to the worst possible conclusion with everything, but how can I not in this situation? He'll be fine. He better be fine. 

Merry Christmas Eve. Go hug the ones you love. And even the ones you don't.