Where I Talk About My Fear

Okay, maybe I'm over exaggerating a bit, but still. This photography stuff is giving me hives y'all. It's stressing me out. You might think it has something to do with my personality. It does. I never jump into anything with both feet until I know I can do it without screwing up royally. Or at all. And if I'm not good at something (or I don't feel like I'm good enough, fast enough) I quit. 

So then, there are two things that I'd eventually like to do. 

Open a bakery.

Start a photography business.

Let's talk about the photography business. I'm there. I have everything I "need." Or so I thought. But, further research suggests things like insurance, release forms, and separate bank accounts among other things that my brain can't handle. 

I have people who want/are waiting for me to photograph them and they want to pay me. Whaaa? I just can't pull the trigger. I don't want to screw something up. I have so many questions but I don't know where to start, and when I get answers to those questions, more questions pop up! My family? They're backing me 110%. Chris spent 59% of his weekend researching things like, "How To Start Your Own Photography Business" seriously. There were talks of "investing". No joke. Everyone is telling me to do it. 

My head. It hurts.

I love taking photographs of anything. And the way I feel after a shoot? Well, I've only had 3...

And I'm addicted. I have this high, if that's even the right word. It just feels good. Like, I'm doing what I need to be doing. I've never felt that way about anything I've done. 

So, why can't I pull the trigger? I guess because I don't know where to start. Case in point, figuring out the name of said "business". I wanted to just use my first and last name followed by photography but then as soon as I got everything in writing, C would propose/we'd get hitched (yay!) and then my last name would change. Do I just go with my first and middle name then? Am I just using this as an excuse? Why can't I just start out with a Facebook page that people can "like?" Oh, because I don't have a name. AHHH!

I don't know. What I do know is that this is my ticket out of where I am currently sitting in my job situation (which is not fulfilling at all at the moment). If I could make enough money as a photographer to quit my current job? I can't even imagine.

So what's holding me back?