You're cute and all, but please stop sticking your butt in my face when I'm sleeping. I don't like rolling over and getting a mouth full of cat butt in the middle of a dead sleep. Since when do you want to sleep on the bed anyway? Maybe it has something to do with the fact that we keep the house around 65 degrees? Go find a blanket. Stay off my bed. Or feel free to stick your butt in C's face.
Could I please take a bath in peace for once? I mean, who wants to be stared down while trying to relax in a warm bubble bath? And? If you try to jump in said bath with me again and unleash your claws of fury, you may find yourself without claws. Ouch.
You know you get fed every night around 6. So, at 11:45 in the morning when you've eaten all of your food, could you not climb up my leg/race me to the kitchen every time I go in there? It's annoying. And I'm going to trip over you and we'll both get broken bones if that happens.
One more thing, can we please pet your pouchy without being annihilated with teeth? You're a cat. We are your humans. Let us pet you.
Love,
The One Who Fills Your Water Bowl
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